Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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