I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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