dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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