her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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