So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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