If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize