I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
