you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
