she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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