Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
