Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Less talking, more tequila
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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