Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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