what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize