pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
