Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
