I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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