I can tuck mytits in my pants
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
pop tarts are not kleenex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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