like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
As shirtless as possible
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So vagazzling was a success
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
