I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
