So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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