im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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