so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I smell like Dick and happiness
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
