I met the friendliest cop last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I love you. Go after that dick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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