i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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