well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
