In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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