I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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