ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
