There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
