Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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