we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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