dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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