Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
