I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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