forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize