do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
