He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sext me about skeletons
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
