I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
