omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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