Having a random hookup so left but love u
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
