Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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