I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Buhtt sex?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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