There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
