You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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