I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
