Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
