dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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