My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's get the cat blown out
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
