Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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