yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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