Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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