Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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