It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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