sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
