i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
