I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
