just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
