2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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