Christians are straight up FREAKS
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
