please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
