Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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