smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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