I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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