You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
That was before I lit my hair on fire
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
