Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
