I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
